At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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