The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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