Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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