3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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