Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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