I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
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I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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