Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize