Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
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I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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