I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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