who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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