I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize