the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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