I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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