I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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