I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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