Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize