on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sorry about my life...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize