Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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