so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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