well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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