So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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