just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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