i just wanna soil my oats bro
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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