you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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