I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize