I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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