Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize