just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize