Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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