So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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