Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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