Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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