in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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