you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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