it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
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He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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