i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize