i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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