Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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