i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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