Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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