get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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