he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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