I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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