Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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