she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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