First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize