That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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