There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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