I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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