Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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